Being the only senior studio art major has it’s perks and drawbacks. I try not to focus on either one because it’ll lead me down a rabbit hole where I waste time and energy.
Having a studio space is a rite of passage here in the Art Department. And rites of passage make me nervous because they mark a moment in your life as the point of change. I am not afraid of change, just afraid of messing up the ‘change’.
Once, I learned that people are nervous about things they care about. Like a big test coming up, getting married, or graduating from college. I think I am nervous because this is foreign to me. I know what graduation looks like, but I don’t know first hand what it feels like. I don’t have a point of reference. High school was so long ago, and I feel like this is different. Graduating from Marine Corps boot camp wasn’t as hard as college. In the Corps, someone told me what to do and when to do it.
This is different. No template, no restrictions. I must show something to everyone. I chose what I want to show. I have advisors, sponsors, and mentors, but ultimately I have the choice.
Fitting, isn’t it? My final task is to show everyone what I learned. The manner in which I show will reveal what I have learned.
Having a studio does make me nervous. During my previous classes (Art 260 Methods in Art & Art History and Art 397 Exhibition Process) we visited Sara Emerson’s and Kojo Griffin’s studio. We met with other artists in their studios, and everyone seemed nervous, anxious, exhausted, and excited. I think that’s because they cared about what they were doing.
I am nervous about having a studio; I’m nervous because I care about my work.